Can you please improve/add to this metaphor?

Your heart is a fragile piece of meat that should be frozen with care. Sometimes we store it away in the freezer because we have no use for it. However don’t forget to check the expiration date or you will find your heart useless, a victim of freezer burn. Even worse, someone will try to defrost you, eat you, and get poisoned from tainted goods. Glad Press N’ Seal Wrap, use it. I’m living in a world of vegetarians, because I can’t find anyone who wants my heart?